By Dave Barry
Pulitzer Prize-winning slapstick comedian Dave Barry is a good looking amiable man. yet in recent times, he is been getting a bit labored up. What can make a mild-mannered guy of phrases so sizzling less than the collar? good, loads of things-like undesirable public paintings, net millionaires, SUVs, Regis Philbin ... or even greater difficulties, just like the slower-than-deceased-livestock left-lane drivers who it sounds as if think that the fitting lane is sacred and mustn't ever are available direct touch with tires The parent-misery quotient of last-minute tuition technology reasonable initiatives Day buying and selling and different careers that by no means require you to take off your bathrobe The plague of the low-flow bathrooms, that's so undesirable that even in Miami, the place you should purchase medicines simply by establishing your entrance door and yelling "Hey! i would like a few crack, "you cannot even promote your first born to get a normal-flushing bathroom Dave Barry isn't really taking any of this sitting down. he will get up for the rights of all americans opposed to ridiculously named uniqueness "--Chino "coffees and the IRS. simply once he will get the darn bathroom flushed. From the alternate Paperback edition. Read more...
summary: Pulitzer Prize-winning stand-up comedian Dave Barry is an attractive amiable man. yet in recent times, he is been getting a bit labored up. What can make a mild-mannered guy of phrases so sizzling lower than the collar? good, loads of things-like undesirable public artwork, net millionaires, SUVs, Regis Philbin ... or even greater difficulties, just like the slower-than-deceased-livestock left-lane drivers who it appears think that the appropriate lane is sacred and must not ever are available in direct touch with tires The parent-misery quotient of last-minute institution technology reasonable initiatives Day buying and selling and different careers that by no means require you to take off your bathrobe The plague of the low-flow bathrooms, that is so undesirable that even in Miami, the place you should purchase medicines simply by beginning your entrance door and yelling "Hey! i need a few crack, "you cannot even promote your first born to get a normal-flushing rest room Dave Barry isn't taking any of this sitting down. he'll get up for the rights of all americans opposed to ridiculously named forte "--Chino "coffees and the IRS. simply once he will get the darn bathroom flushed. From the alternate Paperback version
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Extra resources for Dave barry is not taking this sitting down
So here’s what I think: I think there should be a law requiring that all public art be marked with a large sign stating something like: “NOTICE! THIS IS A PIECE OF ART! ” Also, if there happens to be an abandoned air compressor nearby, it should have a sign that says: “NOTICE! ” so the public does not waste time enjoying the wrong thing. The public should enjoy what the experts have decided the public should enjoy. That’s the system we use in this country, and we’re going to stick with it. At least until the public acquires missiles.
So let me just close by saying that, although I have made some fun of the wine-country experience here, I really do feel, in all sincerity, that “Pinot Noir and His Nuances of Toast” would be a good name for a band. Eye of the Beholder Like many members of the uncultured, Cheez-It-consuming public, I am not good at grasping modern art. ” I especially have a problem with modernistic sculptures, the kind where you, the layperson, cannot be sure whether you’re looking at a work of art or a crashed alien spacecraft.
I don’t have the exact statistics right here, but I bet they are chilling. As I say, I could raise these issues and resort to the kind of negativity indulged in by Susie Walker of North Augusta, South Carolina. But I choose not to. I choose, instead, to address her question seriously, in hopes that, by improving the communication between the genders, all human beings—both men and women, together—will come to a better understanding of how dense women can be sometimes. I say this because there is an excellent reason why a man would open the spatula drawer and, without looking for the spatula, ask where the spatula is: The man does not have TIME to look for the spatula.