By Dr Ethel S Person M.D.
At its so much glad, romantic love is a passionate flame that enables us to go beyond ourselves. Even love that ends unhappily can depart us liberated, extra deeply insightful, reworked.
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Additional info for Dreams of love and fateful encounters : the power of romantic passion
The lovers luxuriate in the freedom to linger, and nothing else seems so valuable. One retrieves the present tense in love. Only the present matters, past and future are dispensable, irrelevant. Love is valuable for the feeling it evokes in the present, not for its use in generating future yields. Time is reckoned by love’s calendar, where there is only before and ever since. 32 D R E A M S O F L O V E A N D FAT E F U L E N C O U N T E R S Moments when the lovers are together are experienced as timeless, but in separation they seem endless.
One sees mixtures of all the types described, and one type can evolve into another. For example, vanity-love can sometimes evolve into passionate love, and sadly enough, passion- 30 D R E A M S O F L O V E A N D FAT E F U L E N C O U N T E R S love may fade into conventional love. Nor do these categories by any means exhaust the subject. There are still other ways to classify love’s myriad, truncated forms. Mutual love depends upon both need satisfaction and idealization, but one sees abortive forms of love that are unbalanced in these areas.
The working and reworking of the same ideational content is similar to the “working through” that occurs in psychoanalytic therapies. The lover is written in, as it were, into every conceivable experience and dream. Such “obsessions” are signs that a major psychic shift is occurring, with changes in allegiances, values, perceptions, goals, and the sense of self. Exaltation In the arms of the beloved, the boundaries of the lover’s world expands, and his life is suffused with a sense of drama. Excitement transforms— and expels—the mundane, charges each moment with meaning, enrap- Love Realized 33 tures the body, and enlarges the spirit.